Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!

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(636): View more from Missouri

just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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(906): View more from Michigan

I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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(970): View more from Colorado

She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??

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(478): View more from Georgia

how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?

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(416): View more from Toronto

i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon

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(207): View more from Maine

Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.

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(231): View more from Michigan

... drunk me broke the coffee table?

(616): View more from Michigan

STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.

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