yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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