It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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