Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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