dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
