he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
