so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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