The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
