Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All I want is dick and wine.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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