I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
sarcasm needs its own font
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
