Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
