Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize