After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
