the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
