**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
