also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize