Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
