How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
