Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
