For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
