i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
