i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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