Define "chronic" masturbator.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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