What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
