Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
