apparently the secret to your success is patron
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Girls should come with a carfax report
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize