how can u be prego again
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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