i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You are the jesus of drinking
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
