the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
4 words: hood of his car
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
