At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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