Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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