At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
