He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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