Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
