I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize