In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
