i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
