Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize