I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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