Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Randomize
