He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
His hands were made for my vagina.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
