Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
