I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
