if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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