so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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