i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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