did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
