If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
