Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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