woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
