Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
