She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize