exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
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