I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
