Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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