Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You were trust falling into bushes
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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