May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
