like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
