Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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