Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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