Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
