Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
