i love accidental penises.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
