No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
