you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
