i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My dick has a subreddit
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
