last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
