After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
