hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize