What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
