id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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