Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
