Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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