I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
