you guys were way drunker than both of me
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
