The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize