Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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